There is nothing like hearing those words coming out of your loved ones mouth, “I received my orders today for deployment”. These words alone bring about a sense of anxiety, uncertainty, and just plain sadness for almost anyone that hears them. Deployments can be one, if not the most, difficult part of being a military spouse. These deployments can be short, long, or in between. These deployments can be planned months in advance or short-notice as in weeks or even days. A deployment is an extremely hard thing to get through, but I can honestly say I have grown as a person while going through our first deployment. Here are some reasons why I am grateful that I have went through a deployment in this lifetime (even though I would be happy to never have to do it again!)

5 Reasons I am Grateful I Went Through a Deployment

“If I can get through this, I can get through anything!”

Reason 1: It gave me the confidence to do anything, no literally. ANYTHING.

This deployment truly gave me the confidence to conquer any goal, any obstacle, and really just any thing in my life that needed conquering. I balanced raising my 3 month old son, working full-time, keeping the house clean, maintaining our vehicles, keeping up with finances, and keeping myself alive(barely). There are so many things I accomplished that I had never even attempted before such as: Mowing the yard (every week for months on my one off day during the week) and successfully fixing a toilet using a youtube video (really fun times). I am pretty proud of my accomplishments during this deployment. It really made me feel like, if I can get through this, I can get through anything!

Reason 2: It helps you re-evaluate your life and your decisions you have made so far to really find out what makes you happy.

There’s just something about your husband leaving you alone that really makes you think about your life and the choices you’ve made. It truly helped me take the time to get to know myself. I had the free time to be alone and really think about life and what I wanted from it. I wanted to make myself happy and not depend on a relationship to make me happy. Not to say I don’t love my husband, I just want to know that I am truly happy and when he left I knew I wasn’t. I wasn’t living to my full potential. I made a lot of changes while he was away. It was the best decision I could have made for myself and for my family. I quit my job that was running me in the ground and making me absolutely miserable. I started doing things for myself like going to the gym, eating healthier, finding new hobbies, evaluating friendships and relationships, etc. I was determined to be the happy and positive person I knew, even when my husband wasn’t able to be with me 24/7! It was the best thing I could have done. Now, I am happier than ever. I know exactly what I want out of this crazy life and exactly who I want with me.

Reason 3: It re-establishes your relationship with your faith and forces you to think positive.

Let me tell you, the amount of times I laid in my bed after a horrible day just crying thinking “Why me? Why now? What else could possibly go wrong?” were too many times too count. I really had to take a step back and look at our situation. Was it really THAT bad? Of course not. Was it one of the hardest things I’ve ever been through? Yes. But, taking a step back I took a look at the hardships I was put through and I have to say in some sense I was lucky. My husband was in a safe area 99%, if not 100% of his deployment. Not to say there wasn’t any danger involved and that I wasn’t worried, but at least it wasn’t a war zone. My son was healthy and well taken care of. We were better off financially and could work towards multiple goals to better our future for when my husband returned. There were many upsides to this deployment that were hard to see only because these other negative things were in the way. Until I decided to change the way I looked at my life I would’ve never seen the positive side to this deployment.

Reason 4: It helps you appreciate the time you get to spend with your spouse, when you do finally get it.

While my husband was deployed it was extremely hard to talk to one another. There was a time difference. There was interference on the phone lines. There were new phone numbers, new providers, dropped calls, lost connections repeatedly, etc. It just seemed like the odds were against us every single time we picked up the phone. We really had to find other ways to connect and build on our relationship. You learn to really appreciate the time you have together, when you finally have it.

Reason 5: It gives you a new start to your relationship.

When you finally get your husband back, things can seem very very different. You have to re-learn how to interact with each other in a normal way. It can change the dynamics in a relationship quite a bit, whether you’d like it to or not. We had to work on our communication (and still do) to keep our relationship alive and well. So, if there were any communication issues before, now is the time to address that. It’s a great way to almost get a “fresh start” to your relationship.

Well, that’s all I can think of right now. Deployments are never fun, but when you try to look at the positives then it will help time go by a little bit faster, and help you stay in a better mood!

Also, one major thing that really helped me get through this deployment was a book I tried to read before bed every night. It really helped calm my nerves and mind. You can see this book here. (I’ve also linked some others below)

Oh, and just a little bonus: My house was literally the cleanest its ever been since living with my husband and I was able to re-decorate without his opinion about my love for throw pillows! LOL

Thanks for reading,

Ps. Anyone reading this that has an upcoming deployment just know that you CAN do this! This is my best advice: It might seem impossible and that these are the worst days of your life, but those days will pass whether you are happy or miserable. Do your best to keep yourself happy and keep the positivity! It’s better that way for you and your spouse. Good luck!

Pps. This was the BEST day ever! (even though nothing went the way I wanted it too, but what’s new with military life right?!)